"Because She Is a Mother"

One of my all time favorite talks from General Conference (a great big huge gathering of our church in which the leaders of our church speak to the world) is a talk given by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, "Because She Is a Mother".  This is my talk/article I chose to focus on today.

Elder Holland begins his talk with some lines from Victor Hugo, and I too am going to quote them:

"She broke the bread into two fragments and gave them to her children, who ate with eagerness.  'She hath kept none for herself,' grumbled the sergeant.

"'Because she is not hungry,' said a soldier.

'"No,' said the sergeant, 'because she is a mother.'"

This is how I am feeling today.  Not hungry because I do not have any food to eat.  Quite the opposite, actually.  We've just had dinner, and my little chilies are all in bed.  I can hear the boys still playing, even though I wish they were trying to quietly sleep.

No, I feel this way today, because I tried to give them everything I could, and tonight I feel that there is nothing left.  And this is only Day One of my challenge!

Something to remember, Elder Holland shares a quote from a letter from a sister, to whom I will forever be grateful.  She writes to Elder Holland regarding "the one thing that keeps her going": "Through the thick and the thin of this, and through the occasional tears of it all, I know deep down inside I am doing God's work.  I know that in my motherhood I am in an eternal partnership with Him.  I am deeply moved that God finds His ultimate purpose and meaning in being a parent even if some of His children make Him weep."

Today, even though I have nothing left to give, I was doing God's work.  That's what I need to remember.  That's what each of us need to remember.  As we sit down at the end of the day, hopefully to a quiet house (although that seems to rarely happen) and look at the dinner dishes on the table, and the laundry sitting on the couch waiting to the folded, we remember what we spent our time doing.

Do I want my children to remember me doing the dishes all the time? Or folding the laundry as they run around me?  Do I want them to remember me barking at them to get homework done or to practice the piano (although these are probably ones they will remember for sure)?

No!  I really want them to remember us hiking together.  I want them to remember us swimming in the summer at the pool.  I want them to remember us visiting the zoo, or the farm.  Playing at the park, or playing a game on a rainy afternoon.  I want them to remember us reading stories together, and reading the scriptures together.

In closing tonight, I just want to end with something Elder Holland says, "If you will show others, including your children, the same caring, compassionate, forgiving heart you want heaven to show you; if you try your best to be the best parent you can be, you will have done all that a human being can do and all that God expects you to do."

The Family Project

In the last few weeks, I have thought a great deal about type of wife and mother I want to be.  It could be that we are at a "phase change" or that school just ended for the summer (well a few weeks ago), or even maybe the current news events.  Whatever the reasons, I have come to the conclusion that I want/need to be a better mother.

A few months ago, for the book club I am in, we read, The Happiness Prjoject, by Gretchen Rubin.  Now I have a confession to make, I haven't actually finished the book, but I loved it, and wanted to begin my own "Happiness Project" the minute I picked the book up.  Gretchen Rubin spent a lot of time doing research before she even began her "Happiness Project" and I'll admit I will lose interest if I put it off that long (let's be honest, I did lose interest, we read this book, back in January, but my interest is back, so I'll grab hold of it!)

I've also been reading a bunch of different articles I've found on Pinterest (of course!) that have given me a bunch of tips on being a better parent.  I came across one article, 30 for 30 Challenge about playing with your kids for 30 minutes a day for 30 days (had a been smart enough I would have tried it for the month of June, but I guess I'll have to try 31 for 31).  

Long story short, (I'm not much of a blogger), I've decided I'm only going to try a couple new things this month to improve on.  

First in the area of becoming a better wife.  I don't know about you, but I think I must be married to the world's greatest man.  He's loving, and caring, and always puts me first.  What's more, he rarely if ever tells me what to do or how to do it.  He's my biggest cheerleader, and unfortunately, he's usually last to get my attention.  So to become a better wife this month, my goal is spend time each day just listening to him.  He doesn't require much in that department, but he does need a listening ear, even if means, I follow him around his garage for 15 minutes as he works on a car, and he tells me what he's doing.  Some times that's all he needs.  He just wants to know that I care about what he's doing.

Second, in the area of becoming a better mom.  I'm going to try the 31 for 31 Challenge.  I'm going to play with my kids for 31 minutes a day for 31 days.  Some days it may be that we read for 31 minutes, but hopefully not every day, because we need play time too (since we already read most days anyway).  Hopefully this will add more fun to our home and my kids will see that I'm not always trying to boss them around.

Third, I am going to read an article or a talk on parenting every day.  This might be a talk from a general authority (a leader of my church) to remind me that I'm doing God's work, and I'm doing the best I can after a rough day, or it might be an article about 20 dates I can take my boys on.  Either way, I'm going to improve this month.  

I'm also going to keep a record.  That's where you lovely people come in, or maybe it's just me who will be rereading these posts some day.  Either way, it's a way I'll be accountable.  And at the end of the month, even if I'm the only one who has read these posts, and changed for the better, then good for me!

I know it may not seem like I'm doing much, but for me, I have to start with little steps.  My family is what is most important to me.  So if these little things improve our relationship, then I'm willing to do them. (WOW!  That was long!)

In the Beginning

In the Beginning, I had no idea what I was in for.  It took us a few months to get pregnant, and some help.  I found out I was pregnant at about 6 am, on a Sunday morning.  Needless to say, my husband was less than excited that I chose that time to find out.  When I first looked at the plus sign on the pregnancy test, I thought, we're having twins!  My husband realistically assured me that my chances of having twins, had barely gone up, and I needed not worry about it.  The twin idea, was gone. 

From that first pregnancy test, we both felt we were having a girl.  We just knew.  Although in the days leading up to my first ultrasound (of many) at 16 weeks, I started feeling a bit uneasy about our baby being a girl.  I still felt like she was a girl, but I also felt like she was a boy.  I know, impossible to have a baby that is both boy and girl, but that's how I felt, confused.  I still remember driving to the doctor's that cold morning discussing how I would suddenly feel different about the gender of our baby.

We checked in with the receptionist, and soon we were on our way back with the ultra-sound tech.  We chatted amicably during the ultra-sound, and soon found out we were going to be blessed with a little boy.  I knew my feelings were right.  The tech was just about to wrap everything up, when he said, "I have something funny to tell you," then he said something that forever changed my life, and was not expected, "You're having twins!"  We soon found out that not only where we having a little boy, we were also having a little girl. 

I was in a state of shock, to put it mildly.  The shock slowly wore off, and was replaced with the overwhelming feeling of inadequacy.  We were going to be responsible for two new lives, not just one.  Thus the roller-coaster of twins begins!

A change for the blog

A number of years ago, I was at my husband's work Christmas Party.  A woman there asked my husband's co-worker's wife what she did for a living.  The co-worker's wife explained she was a stay-at-home-mom.  I don't remember the response to her chosen profession, other than it was negative, and almost demeaning.  The two did not talk again that night.

Although at the time of the party, my husband and I did not have any children. I was still deeply affected by the conversation between these two women at this party.  One woman was a career woman.  She seemed to live the "dream life." She had a successful career, seemed to do well financially, and had all the freedoms one could want.  Yet she was not who I wanted to be.  I wanted to be the stay-at-home mom.

Since this experience, I have had twins, and a single baby.  I'm now a stay-at-home mom.  Motherhood has not been exactly what I expected (especially those times I've had a baby and have seemingly been up all night), but there is nothing else I would rather do. 

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  There is a document titled "The Family: A Proclamation to the World," which states, "Husband and wife have a solemn responsiblity to love and care for each other and for their children. 'Children are an heritage of the Lord' (Psalms 127:3).  Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provde for their physical and spirital needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.  Husbands and wives--mothers and fathers--will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations....

..."Mother's are pirmarily responsible for the nurture of their children."

This is our job.  We were sent here to be mothers.  There is much more to be being a mother than having babies and cleaning house.  We are still women.  We still have our own interests, hobbies, and ideas.  I don't know a perfect mother.  I am definitely not one (just ask my children).  My hopes for posting my thoughts is that someone might be strengthened in their quest of finding their place in motherhood.

Easter Crafts

Okay for Easter, I did a few things.  first of all, I made colored deviled eggs, super easy, and super yummy!

Then we made some eggs, not eatible of course.

Then I made ties for my boys.  Look how cute!

Birthday Cakes

Okay for my twin's birthday, I made each of them a cake.  A princess cake, and a pirate cake.

Valentines

I know I'm way behind.  For Valentine's Day I asked each child what they wanted to hand out, and then we went from there.  Gregory wanted to hand out cereal boxes, and Sian wanted to hand out playdough.  So this is what we did: